post-meditation update

I finished my Vipassana course today and thought I'd say hi. As usual, my mind carried on a nearly constant dialogue with itself but it was not so distracting that I could not meditate. Although at one point (sometime in the distant future...) my mind will stop chattering, right now, my job is to observe reality as it is and remain equanimous. That is a big enough job in itself. Anyhow, here's my experience.

WHAT I TAKE FOR GRANTED
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Although I have completed several Vipassana courses by now, this course was particularly challenging for the first 4 to 5 days. As part of the Vipassana course in the Ledi Sayadaw tradition as taught by S.N. Goenka, one must take renunciation as a part of the course. That means to give up on wordly pleasures for the duration of the course and live like a renunciant. One of the precepts is to not sleep in a high and luxurious bed. Well, how about a slab of concrete about 2 feet above the floor with about 1/4 inch of wood nailed to it and then a woven straw mat of about 1/16 inch thick. Coming from a family that believes in firm beds, harder surfaces are usually not a challenge but this was one hard surface! There is an optional mattress made of bound straw but in the heat of the first 4 days, that straw mat could have been a suffocating down duvet. So...sleeping was an interesting experience.

And...although I was given one of the best rooms and given the luxury of having the room all to myself instead of sharing it with someone, the bareness of the accommodations brough up many aversions - aversions that I am trying to let go of. They rightly assessed that as a foreigner, I would not be able to endure the usual accommodations and gave me one with a western toilet and a shower-head (instead of the usual bucket and scoop routine). However, the raw concrete walls, the "interesting" brown things on the floor, and the mosquitos stalking in the corners, made me quite tense everytime I showered. I tried to move as quickly as possible so no undesired substances would splash on me and no mosquitoes would attack me. I succeeded in the first endeavor but was woefully bitten in the most unusual places with each wash. I never knew I could be this woozy and had to admit to myself just how much I take for granted.

WHY BEING WEALTHY IS BEING COLD/COOL AND COMFORTABLE
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I have not checked this with any native speakers or anyone who would know better but it has always struck me as interesting that the word for rich or wealthy is a combination of the words cold/cool and comforable. Being one averse to being cold, I could not understand why being cold would be a good thing until recently. Now, I know. For the first 4 days and nights of the course, the weather was still hot. It was hot in the morning, hot in the evening, and hot in the dead of night. So hot that I could have easily slept naked and not felt cold. Everyone slept with their doors and windows open and few bothered to borrow blankets from the meditation center.

For most of my waking hours, it felt like my body was trying to transform itself into a porcupine but the enumerable spikes could not pierce through my skin. Rather, the needles just kept pricking at me making it very difficult to sit still or remain equanimous. On top of that, I had several mosquito bites so I used up 3/4 of my tiger balm, using the temporary coolness of the ointment to get me through those days.

Now, I understand why my Burmese teacher, Saya U Saw Tun, says he much prefers to be cold. It seemed unimaginable to me for someone who lives in snowy Dekalb, Il. but given the choice of the heat during the first 4 days of my course, and the cold of Dekalb, I might feel the same way.

DIFFERENT CONCEPTS OF QUIET
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Ever since I first visited Dhamma Joti in 2002, I've been surprised that it located so close to downtown Yangon. I can walk from the center to Sule Paya in about 35 minutes (before the mid-day heat of course). Well, now, having completed my course, I see that the standards of quiet we assume to be necessary for a meditative environment do not hold in Yangon. Just beyond the walls of the center, there was some sort of entertainment facility (karaoke) or something that often blasted music as if there were an audience of 100 people or more. One night, there was apparently a ka bya (traditional Burmese theater that goes on all night long). It started with a rock-type of music for a few hours and then moved into traditional music (hniq ba thwa?) and then jataka tales. I assume that there is nothing one can do about this kind of celebration and that it is not considered a real disturbance to meditators. In addition, each night, we were seranaded by a chorus of howling barking dogs battling out their territories. To my ear, it sounded like 2 packs of dogs who would fight each night about 11:30pm. They also believed that the gongs at the pagoda next door are an invitation to call and response. The gong would sound - gong... and the dogs would howl - awooooooh... The gong would sound again and the dogs would respond again. I never counted how many times but they had a regular pattern going. There were also about 5 varieties of birds each with their own call. Of them, there was only one that would be considered a song bird. The rest sounded like they were either shouting to someone very far away or arguing. All in all, it was an auditory experience.

So...this course was probably one of the most difficult one's I've ever completed - due to my own issues and my reactions to the environment - but it was a good course. Two ladies in particular were inspiring. One has scoliosis, and the other had severe arthritis. Both seemed to sit with the utmost calmness and perserverence. In fact, everyone was amazing. Whereas meditators in the states straggle in between 4:30 and 6 am, everyone, and I do mean everyone, was in the meditation hall by 4:20 am. I was usually the last or second to last to walk in at 4:28 am. I always felt so sheepish for lazing on my concrete bed.

COURSE IS DONE, BACK TO APARTMENT HUNTING
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Now, I'm back to searching for a home. Pat and I did not get the condo because they didn't want to rent to Americans. So, my search continues. My goal is to find a home by Dec. 1 so I can really get to work! The guest house I stayed in was a very reasonable rate but tiny. My room had space for just my bed. I could have studied sitting on my toilet but the humidity of the space made the paper curl. Well...okay, I never actually studied there but the pages of my books curled just sitting on the bed.

I think that is it for now.

hope everyone had a great Thanksgiving!
jayde

12 days and still adjusting...

Hi All,

Thought I'd say hi again before disappearing for 10 days. I'm going to sit a Vipassana Meditation course in Yangon at a place called Dhamma Joti. It begins this afternoon at 5pm and will end on 11/28 at 7am. I'm looking forward to the course because it will help me settle down a bit after a frantic summer of preparing for my comprehensive exam and then getting myself here.

But, first, I'm using my UW email again because I can't figure out how to get addresses into my gmail. So, just as with my previous announcement from gmail, please remember that all emails are public here. The cyber cafe that I used is always crowded so it is not an illegal medium but we don't want to create problems eh?

After my first week of meeting a bunch of new people, things slowed down a little. I set up Burmese tutorials with 3 different teachers and tried to find an apartment. I hesitated on an apartment that I really liked and lost a chance for a great space. Oh well... It had been thoroughly cleaned with a new tile floor put in and painted pink (a nice cheery shade). It was the top floor of a building so there was access to the roof with a great space to hang out in the evening. I wondered why the owner went through all that trouble to rent it out and asked him why he wasn't living in it. He said, "oh...business reasons" which made me feel like there was something shaddy and therefore asked for a few days to think. By the time I decided, the owner decided he would live in it himself.

After that, it has been many hours of walking around with my bwe sa (broker) looking at various apartments. The range is mind boggling. Some are in such poor condition that even my most adventurous side cringes - mold on the walls, bizzare collections of live and dead organisms in the corners and screens... you get the picture. You all know of course that I am a clean freak. Yesterday, the bwe sa showed me a "condo" which has 3 rooms and is available to $274 per month at the current exchange rate. I don't want to pay that much but if Pat and I share, it is well within my budget. So...Pat also looked at it today and if all goes well, which mainly means that the owner must process our periodic (weekly and then eventually monthly) registration as foreigners staying in Burma, we will be able to get this condo. We'll have 1 extra room so come stay with us!

I only have one interesting story to relay this time. One afternoon when John and I were walking to his gym, we passed a woman in what would be considered to be a mini skirt in any country. I was first surprised by her bare legs and then realized she was talking very loudly to herself. John and I had seen her once before wearing a spaghetti strap top. She is clearly not well. So...John and I talked about what it must be like for her and walked passed her with little concern. However, right after we passed her, she yelled and ran after me. It all happened very quickly but she grabbed what at first felt like my hair but actually was my red hair rubberband. She pulled the rubberband off very quickly and efficiently so that my head was only yanked back briefly. Before I could react, John chivalrously yelled "hey" to scare her and she looked stunned for a minute. Then, with vehemence,
she threw my hair rubberband out to the middle of the street and shouted at us in Burmese. Unfortunately, neither of us know enough Burmese to know what the heck she was saying. I noted the word that was repeated most often, "shaung" which might mean avoid. John asked if I was okay and honestly, I think I was more surprised than anything. Being a clean freak, I thought, "Man...she was just picking through some trash. What they heck is in my hair now?!" My theory is that she really hates red or will not tolerate anyone wearing red in her hair. I noticed that she had a pretty orange red bow in her hair. So...I will exercise caution if I see her again. She is in the neighborhood quite often. At least, I'll make sure there are no hair ornaments in my hair.

So...that's the exciting news this time. I'll email again when I finish my meditation course. It was all going to work out so well because the apartment I liked so much would not be available until the end of November so I was going to do something good for myself and save money while I waited for my apartment. Now...I'll just do something good for myself and hopefully have a place to live when I finish my course.

Hope you are all happy and well,
jayde-thissa

Yangon!

Hello Everyone!

It is my 6th day in Yangon and my constant companion is heat and moisture. When people who knew better told me that Burma is hotter than Taiwan, I thought, no... I can handle it. Well, they were right and I am sadly, sweatily wrong. Up until now, prickly heat had just been an intriguing ailment to me. Now, I know what it means to be pricked by heat. You'd think that as a person born in a sub-tropical region, I would be better adapted to this climate. Seattle has spoiled me.

Anyhow, it took a little longer in Bangkok than I had hoped but I was able to get my visa and as those of you who read my blog know, I had palatial accommodations at no cost. So far, I would say that my journey to Burma must be fated if not blessed because I have had so much help already! Just this morning, a Sino-Burmese man I hardly know offered to help me find an apartment and everyone has been extremely concerned about me being taken as a foreigner. Although I definitely confuse people, they can tell that I'm not a local. Apparently, there are plenty of Chinese and Taiwanese business people here so I am usually perceived of as one of those. I haven't met any yet though. There is a couple behind me who definitely have Taiwanese accents but I don't know them yet.

I arrived Monday afternoon and was kindly met by Pat and John. They saved me because without my permission a so called porter wearing an official badge helped me take my very heavy luggage off the conveyor belt. He then asked for my customs form and although I marked “nothing to declare” indicated by the color green, he took me to the red line. That made me very uneasy because I didn’t want any problems. Luckily, the customs officer just asked me to open my carry on bag and when I told him that I was carrying a computer, he said “laptop lah?” then pointed to by two gigantic suitcases saying “All that clothes.” Being my naïve self, I replied, “books” which seems equally innocuous to him and he waved me past. I have an aversion of being perceived as your typical woman who travels with way too much clothes. ;p So, back to the porter. As soon as we passed customs, the porter asked for money to which I replied, “I don’t have any kyat.” He gave me a dirty look and asked for US dollars. I didn’t have any small bills so he stood right by me until Pat and John showed up. So, John paid him for me and off we went in the mid-day heat. Pat had offered to host me at his place until I found an apartment but unfortunately, he has no water. So he sent me to the May Shan (Mei(Plum) Xian(County)) Guest House near the Sule Pagoda where John Okell had just checked out. It is run by Chinese people so they immediately asked me where I was from and we had some friendly conversations in Mandarin. What is more interesting is, in the shops and restaurants run by Chinese (inclusive of Yangon Sino-Burmese, Shan (with some mixed backgrounds of Yunnanese and Shan), everyone has asked me if I am Chinese and whether I can speak Mandarin. Those questions are followed by questions about why I'm in Burma,why I would want to study Burmese, etc.

The most interesting thing by far is my experience this morning. I moved to the Golden City Hotel on Thursday after having lunch with Khet Khet, Sandi, and their mother. They were very kind and negotiated a lower price for me, $10 per night, $5 less than the May Shan. Anyhow, the owner of the hotel invited me to join him for morning exercises at the Kandawgyi Lake (a little repetitive because "kan" means lake in Burmese which is like saying Sierra Madre mountains). I agreed to go with him at 5:30am because he was so friendly and I figured it would be a great way to see a slice of Yangon that I would not ususally see on my own. This morning, he drove me along with his wife, daughter, sister, and niece to the lake. When we got there, there were at least 400 people on a platform next to the lake looking towards Shwedagon Pagoda doing calisthenics to music.

What struck me first was the number of people moving in unison. What struck me next was the beauty of the setting. There are two huge fountains shooting water up framing the Shwedagon with the blue misty morning highlighting the gleaming golden pagoda. What struck me after that was, the instructions were in Mandarin! It was hard to decipher at first because the audio system is so pathetic but it turned out that a shrill Chinese voice was counting out - yi (one), er (two), san (three) as everyone moved through a combination of modified Taichi and wushu (called Kungfu in the US). It was just like any scene in any large park in China with young and old doing exercises to bad modernized traditional Chinese music. The owner’s wife found me a place and I joined the crowd in doing Taichi that would make anyone who knows Taichi cringe. About 10 demonstrators stood in the front and moved their bodies in awkward ways with no sense of proper alignment of qi. The shrill voice said “xi (inhale)” and “hu (exhale)” in a way that felt counter intuitive to me – we inhaled as we bent forward and exhaled as we expanded or reached up – but maybe Taichi breathing is the opposite of yogic breathing. Who knows. Anyhow, after the Taichi-Wushu, the owner waved me next to him and asked me, “Are you happy?” in Burmese to which I responded in Burmese, “Yes. This is very interesting because the voice is speaking Mandarin and I can understand her.” He was surprised by this because he didn’t realize I am Chinese and then asked me if am I from Fujian. I said yes which made him smile and ask me if I can speak Hokkien (aka Minnan, Taiwanese). I said yes which made him smile even more and say, “We are the same people” in Hokkien. The next round of exercises started and the whole time he told other Chinese around him that I am Chinese and can speak Mandarin, Hokkien, English, and Burmese. To which, several people asked me where I am from and smiled at me.

After about 1 hour of very mild exercise and the most un-rhythmic line dancing with everyone going every which way while telling others, “No no no, go left, go right, xie-xie (which sounded at first like thank you in Mandarin but I believe they were trying to say “sachay” (sp?) a French word often used in dance indicating a scooting-like movement)” we all moved onto mats to do what turned out to be a loose rendition of yoga. My host had no idea I have been practicing Ashtanga yoga for more than 1 year so he was surprised that I could do everything and everyone around took notice. Well, either, they noticed I could do yoga with ease or they watched me because my host continued to tell everyone I am Chinese and can speak many languages. Anyhow, I was very much on display but it was fine. The exercise teacher, an elderly Chinese man of Xiamen descent kept coming over to adjust me but was a little bit nonplussed by the fact that I could bend or contort as he indicated. Afterall, everyone around me was at least 10 years older (there were only a few other young or younger people) so he shouldn’t have been surprised. The most fun/comical part was when we had to do a back bend. A lady of at least 50 went up to demonstrate. She struggled a little but when she got up into a back bend, everyone clapped. It was very sweet. Then, when another person got up, everyone clapped again. Then, I moved into a back bend and everyone clapped.

I’m running out of time because I have some appointments to see apartments but I think you get the idea. I am having no problem meeting Chinese people and already two have said that the Wang, Lin, and Hu are the same family from Fujian so we are “our people”.
More later!
jayde

The Start of an Adventure

Hello Everyone!

Here's my first blog! I can hardly believe it! Here I sit in a luxurious, air conditioned room in one of the nicest homes I've ever been in, sipping rose tea, and bathing in the scent of sandalwood. Although I've been away from the states for about 10 days now, my arrival in Bangkok feels like the real beginning of my year of Burma and Southeast Asian adventures. (I spent a week in Taipei first visiting family and old friends.) I will pick up my visa tomorrow and fly off to Burma next Monday. Can't wait!

As usual, I have been horrible at keeping in touch so I'll do a little bit of catching up first. After returning to the US, I worked as a trainer and facilitator for the University of Washington's (UW) Human Resources Department for about 2 years and then started graduate school. At first, I was going to just get an MA in China Studies but enjoyed the learning so much that I decided to apply to a couple of Ph.D. programs. Luckily, I got into both geography and an interdisciplinary program called Built Environment and decided to pursue the latter. The Ph.D. in Built Environment is housed in the UW's College of Architecture and Urban Planning and allows us to shape our education and research according to our interests. I am in the tract focused on history, theory, and representation and will write my dissertation on sense of place and sense of identity. More specifically, I will pursue these two inter-related topics in Burma by learning about the lives and environments of the Chinese in Yangon and Mandalay.

I passed my comprehensive exam in October so I am officially a Ph.D. candidate (pfhew!) but know more than ever before just how much more I need to learn. Oy! But, then it is an on-going process isn't it?! Luckily, I'll have a year in Burma to fill in some of the gaps in my knowledge.

So, that brings us up to today. I'm going to Burma on the Blakemore Fellowship to study Burmese and learn. Right now, I still feel more like a China Studies person with one toe in Burma Studies. Hopefully, I'll have at least one foot in Burma by fall of 2007. Thus begins the story.

Jayde in Bangkok


This is the view from the room I'm staying in Shane's house. Shane is a friend of a friend who has been amazingly generous and kind. I don't know how I'll ever repay this debt of kindness.












This is a view from Shane's dinning room. The second balcony down from the top is my room. Yes, there is a pool in the middle of the house. This is a very classy place.














ERAWAN (MAHA BRAHMA) SHRINE

This is a shrine in the middle of downtown next to the Hyatt Regency. If I'm not mistaken, this is a god of locality. I'll have to ask one of my professors about it again.










DANCERS AT THE ERAWAN SHRINE

These dancers appear to be at the shrine everyday. They hang out until someone hires them to dance. There's a table to the right (outside of the frame) where one pays for performances. People pray at this shrine to have certain wishes fulfilled. They make a promissory offering to come back and pay for a dance if their wishes come true. Often people pray that they pass important exams. The young man on the right apparently passed an exam and has come back to fulfill his promise.



SUAN LUM NIGHT BAZAAR
When Shane first told me about this, I thought it would be like a Taiwanese night market but this bazaar is more permanent than that. The Thai military rented this land to an entrepreneur who then rented it out to lots of smaller-scale entrepreneurs. He also brough in a farris wheel and built an Angkor inspired gate - why? The bazaar appears to draw locals and tourists alike. Someone should write a paper about this space - tourism, development, national space, public space, commercial space...

I will try to post regularly but given the inconsistent IT in Burma, I might have problems accessing this site. But, I'll definitely post updates during my quarterly visa renewal visits to Bangkok.

I hope all of you are happy and well!
jayde